Doherty Aims For President

Funny story written by NewYorkversusLondon

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Former Libertines star Pete Doherty has confided in his fellow inmates during his latest prison stint that he hopes for an early release in time for him to be able to join the race to become the next President of The United States of America.

Jocelyn Phillips, servings seven months for stealing the purse of a 98 year old woman with no legs, claims he shared a cell with Doherty who was "desperate to confide his political wishes".

Phillips claims to have shared a cell with Doherty for two nights following the rockers latest sentencing before being asked for a new cell mate. "I listened to him" said Phillips, "but he sings in his sleep, talks all day about Kate (Moss) and kept asking me if I was diabetic. It got too much".

Despite successful replacement in a different cell, Phillips shed the light on the current thought's of Mr. Doherty.

"He said, what is America gonna do-- vote in a black man? Vote in a woman? Why not a heroin addict?"

Mr. Phillips said Doherty's plan, upon a timely release, would involve, "hiding in a suitcase" and insisted that if officials detected him, would pretend to be a member of Franz Ferdinand who are "more respected in America".

Mr. Phiilips refused to comment as to whether or not he believes Doherty running as an independent would be such a good idea.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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