Hillary Dodges Sniper Fire In Bosnia

Written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

image for Hillary Dodges Sniper Fire In Bosnia
"I'm only human."

Claiming to have been dodging sniper fire after landing in Bosnia, Hillary Clinton has instead been caught on video meandering on the tarmac, greeting the welcoming committee, all smiles, perfectly groomed shoulder length page-boy, longer than Javier Barden's ear length page-boy in film, No Country For Old Men.

Because of the video, Hillary Clinton has now confessed that she "misspoke" about the landing. Says she gives thousands of speeches every day, things get confused, "I'm only human." Like the DNA on the blue dress, the video of the Bosnia tarmac served as a truth-memory-booster. Why didn't Chelsea, who was with her on the Bosnia trip, kick start mother's memory? "Ma, you're talking about, Saving Private Ryan, and the invasion of Normandy."

Could the sniper fire flash-back have been a John McCain senior moment for Hillary, or was she just embellishing her portfolio? She might have confused the Tom Hanks film with reality, but one doesn't "misspoke" about a dangerous plane landing amid sniper fire, apparently relishing the memory with a smile. That kind of description isn't a "misspoke," it is called a lie. Which means Hillary's pants must have been on fire!

Part of Hillary's claim to being ready on day one and having passed the threshold (?) was that she dogged sniper bullets in Bosnia. Never happened. A misspoke. Another claim was bringing peace to Northern Ireland. That ain't necessarily so, either. She was described as a "cheerleader" by Lord Trimble, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for the Belfast Accord. She misspoke again. Working for S-Chip, or State Children's Health Insurance Program, is another exaggeration. Misspoke again. Husband Bill stopped S-CHIP from passing due to rising budget costs. The gals pants must be a five alarm fire.

Seems Hillary's eight year contribution while living in the White House is more Mamie Eisenhower than General Eisenhower. "Yes, we have no enchiladas. We have no enchiladas today!"

And if she were to receive a 3 a.m. telephone call in the White House, would the misspoke lady reply, "Sorry, wrong number."

"Ma, that was a Barbara Stanwyck movie."

Read more by this author:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more