McCain is known to lose his cool on occasion. He's had more tantrums on the floor of the Senate than an unruly 4 year old. He's screamed the F word at so many senators his nickname is F-Bomb McCain. The word bomb might refer to his language or his war mongering ways, no one is quite sure.
One might wonder what will happen if he is in charge of answering the "infamous" (and perhaps nonexistent) Red Phone in the White House. As his red face flushes to the color of the phone will he exercise judgment or let loose an F-bomb laced tirade? Will he even listen to the speaker? Or before they utter a word will he yell: Nuke 'Em
As the caller starts to speak he'll then bellow: "Start the Draft" to his head of military and then he'll mutter to himself "Let's get this war rolling!" Then he'll do a little happy jig about the desk in his red, white, and blue pjs with a smattering of hand embroidered elephants.
Upon hearing the details of the problem from the caller McCain will allow logic to prevail and remember that he has many torture tactics available to his use. So he'll spew a litany of commands like: waterboard 'em and make 'em listen to Amy Winehouse music all night, nice and loud. Then he orders a round up of all Arab Americans, stat.
Then, once he is off the phone he will relax by listening to that song Suicide Blonde and reminisce about all the dead eyed blondes he's had in his life. He'll stroll the White House and contemplate how he can earn more money for his buds over at Halliburton. Heck, the Iraq war is costing 10 billion dollars a month already, what are a few more bucks for a new war?
The night is young so he'll crank call some Democrats with the red phone and wake those suckers up. Anybody who curses at him will get their phone bugged for eternity. Damn, it is fun to have power!
Next, he'll get around to thanking Ralph Nadir for swinging the election his way. Heck, that Raphine is a real friend to the Republicans. Though Ralphie he doesn't sound very friendly when he answers his phone at 3:30 AM.
Rant and roar McCain is getting sleepy now. His eyes glaze over as he dreams of foreign lands of scorched earth after his reckless military campaigns commence. He mutters nuke 'em repetitively as a mantra as he falls asleep to dream of drafted soldiers stepping on to the plane that will transport them to the country where they will die.
