A Sneak Peak at the Bush Presidential "Library"

Funny story written by John Andreini

Monday, 3 March 2008

image for A Sneak Peak at the Bush Presidential "Library"
"You should have some big guns in there too George, if you know what I mean"

Washington, D.C. - A general organizational outline of the proposed George H. Bush Presidential Library was leaked to the press today.

The library, which will be housed at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, will contain a highly selective collection of unclassified documents, notes and memorabilia from Bush's eight years as president.

Sources say that President Bush himself has been very involved in selecting materials for the library, and that the following list reflects his preferences.

The library will be organized by the following topics under which will be found several representative examples:

    THE MAN BEHIND THE PRESIDENT

    • Favorite Fart Jokes
    • Naughty Doodles Made During Meetings
    • Photo collection of the president's favorite body builders
    • The President Wrestles and Kills a Grizzly with his Bare Hands (Diorama)

    THE FIRST LADY

    • "Why the Caged Bird Sings" and other relevant readings
    • Cute Clothes I've Worn: A Historical Retrospective
    • What's on Laura's Mind? (interactive)

    INTERNATIONAL POLICY

    • Countries I Would Have Bombed Given the Chance
    • President Bush's Contributions to Middle East Peace
    • Game Arcade: Find Osama bin Laden. Nuke 'em All. Support the Right Dictator.

    THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION

    • "Let's Nuke San Francisco." The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Bush's Inner Circle
      Me and Condi
    • The Cheney Weapons Collection and Fear Factory
    • The Cake Walk
      The President's Enemies List. (allow a full day)

    DOMESTIC POLICY

    • "I spied on you because I loved you." The President Reminisces About Domestic Spying
    • Why Giving the Wealthiest Americans More Money is Good. (PowerPoint presentation)
    • The Hall of Signing Statements (allow a full day)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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