Fox News Discovers Ron Paul

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Saturday, 9 February 2008

image for Fox News Discovers Ron Paul
Fox News Chair Roger Ailes squints at Ron Paul story

Fox News broke its own rules today and did a major story on Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul. The company's chairman, Roger Ailes, explained the decision rather simply: "Now that he's not in the race any more, we figure we might as well mention he was in it. This is part of our fair and balanced coverage. It was the right time."

Ron Paul fans had been extremely critical of the Fox News blackout on their candidate. The most controversial moment was a debate held in New Hampshire before the primary. Ron Paul was excluded while Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson were included, even though the latter two didn't really campaign in the state.

Even though their candidate is now being covered, Ron Paul fans (known by many as Paultards) are still not satisfied. One supporter, known only as Ethan, expressed disgust at the inaccuracy in the latest coverage: "They're saying Dr. Paul is out of the race when he's not! Those bastards will pay!!!"

Hearing the accusation, Fox News promptly apologized and assured all that they will go back to the previous policy of pretending Ron Paul doesn't exist. "We're not really sure he does exist," noted spokeswoman Alyson Juan-Derlan, "we've never seen him on our channel so maybe he doesn't."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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