Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder

Funny story written by Jen A. Taylia

Wednesday, 21 April 2004

image for Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder
American Idol lovers show zero Tolerance.

Polls one week after President Bush's April 13 Press Conference show a massive slip as he looses 12 points to Kerry.

While the American people may excuse Bush for his pre 9/11 laxness, mismanagement of the economy and high casualty rates in a questionable war, it seems that they will not tolerate the arrogance of the White House administration scheduling a press conference which results in a one day postponement of American Idol.

Millions of viewers tuned to Fox last Tuesday and anxiously waited as minutes ticked by. It soon became clear that Fox hadn't realized that if people wanted to hear the President they could tune into any other damn channel - and inexplicably continued coverage of the political event.

A spokesman for Fox read a prepared statement yesterday apologizing for the mistake. "We're sorry for the distress caused to our viewers and we've learned from our mistake. The station now realizes that regardless of our conservative slant and desire to push a right wing agenda, there are some programming events you simply must not f**k with".

When the show eventually aired the following evening John Peter Lewis ( JPL ) was voted out. He appeared the next day on Good Morning America with a startling revelation. It seems that Fox may have fixed the voting and sent him packing because Simon Cowell believes JPL looks like a young George W!

Cowells threat to proclaim this publicly galvanized Fox into action to avoid any possible Bush reference on the show. ( With JPL gone Cowell instead picked on John Stevens, 16 claiming a resemblance to Stan Laurel, to which Stevens replied… "Who?" )

The early White House response to the catastrophe that could cost Bush the election came from Dr Condoleeza Rice. In a standard statement she elucidated that it wasn't their fault, W is fighting against evil and that nobody could have known this would happen.

Many have come forward to refute this including former Terrorist Advisor to the President, Richard Clarke who told Larry King, "This WAS predictable. The Bush administration simply didn't take American Idol seriously and now it's too late. Just look at the numbers. If Bush gets as many votes in the November 2004 Presidential election as Clay Aiken did in last years final he'll be very happy." When Larry King remarked that Clay Aiken didn't get the most votes, Mr. Clarke pointed out that neither did George W.

Conspiracy theorists believe that this may have been an intentional blunder orchestrated by Condi Rice herself who fears that if Bush wins a second term and screws things up even more it will dash her hopes of running for the White House in 2008.

As the Republican media machine switched to high gear the earlier statements by Rice were refuted. A spokesman for the White House read a statement from W which concluded, "…I'd like to thank Condi for her kind words, but in fact I made the error. Yes, I was wrong. Make no mistake about it… I really learned my lesson and it won't happen again."

Even though this is the first time Bush has admitted fault about anything the words ring hollow for many of the American Idol followers who simply don't have the patience for anyone who gets between them and their weekly fix of talent.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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