American Idol's Randy Jackson Writes New Book

Funny story written by Deanna Goodson

Wednesday, 24 March 2004

image for American Idol's Randy Jackson Writes New Book
Randy Jackson Speaks to His Peeps

Randy Jackson has written a new book. "Well, dawg, it's more like a Randy to English dictionary for those peeps that aren't diggin' on my lingo, peace." He announced to a group at a book-signing somewhere.

The book is entitled, "Dawg, Dude, DAAAAAAAAAWG, Duuuuuuuuuuuude," and includes a special pronunciation section.

"Yeah, when you say "dude", it's like I wasn't feelin' dat. It's not good. When I say "duuuuuude", I am flyin', man and it's all good. Yah feel me." Randy said.

Here are some Randy-isms and their English translations:

  • aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight: That was okay for me. It could have been better. Just all-right.
  • You did your thing, man: Young sir or lady, you sang really well. I really enjoyed your performance. Thank you.
  • It's aiiiight for me, dawg: Well, I think you did fairly well. You could have done better and you know it, right?
  • Dawg, Duuuuuuuuuude, Daaaaaaaaaawg, No: You stunk up the place. If I had the turn of phrase of Simon Cowell, you'd be crying now.
  • Dawg (with a head shake), I just didn't get it: What the hell were you doing up there? Why did we put you through to this part of the competition? You need to go home now!

The book retails for $24.99 and is currently available in hardcover and as a book on tape. Randy's reps are hoping it will do better than his last book, "What's up Dawg? How to make it in the music business" or something like that.

"I recommend the audio version of this book. It's slammin', dawg, aiiight," A youngster who admitted that he was working hard to learn Randy-isms because he wants to be on the next American Idol said today.

It's available on the internet and at various bookstores near you. Ask for it by name and the booksellers will laugh at you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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