Tallahassee, Florida - Rudy (9-11) Ghouliani showed up at a campaign rally in Florida, this week, wearing a Count Dracula costume, and speaking on a stage with spiderwebs, and bats hanging from the ceiling.
Mr. (9-11) Ghouliani's campaign strategy has been focused on using subtle techniques to evoke fear in his audiences.
"Rudy is a frightening enough man without this costume," commented one audience member. "I liked him better when he was dressed as a drag queen," another woman offered.
The chief selling-point underlying Rudy (9-11) Ghouliani's campaign, is that he was in New York, at the time of the attack on the World Trade Center. Hillary Clinton also claims that she was in New York at the time of the attack, and therefore people should vote for her. However, Senate records indicate that Ms. Clinton was actually attending a Senate hearing in Washington, D.C., at the time of the attack.
GOP political strategists believe that Mr. (9-11) Ghouliani is the person most capable of perpetuating the dismal policies of the Bush administration, which included the intense bombing of Baghdad...due to a mistaken security report....killing as many innocent men woman and children (100,000) as perished in the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima (estimated between 80,000 and 114,000),... embroiling our country in a war that has no purpose, a war which can't be won, and a war that can't be ended....as well as bankrupting the US government, by going on the most wreckless spending spree in the history of the world....3 times exceeding our National Debt Limit...and thereby paralyzing our nation's efforts to intevene in our rapidly collapsing financial infrastructure.
"Forget that our financial system is crumbling..." Mr. (9-11) Ghouliani pleaded. "We need to forge ahead with Dick Cheney's vision of an eternal, unending global war against terrorism...embroiling the entire world in perpetual warfare."
"So far this approach has resulted in the tripling of global terrorism. We can do much better than that, if we keep trying!" Mr. (9-11) Ghouliani emphasized.
Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing
