DOUGLAS, AZ -- Minuteman Billy Ray Flagler has been patrolling the U.S./Mexico border for illegal aliens for nearly two years.
A self-described patriot, who believes his civic duty to his country involves keeping people out of the United States, got a big surprise when he shot a different kind of alien last weekend.
Sometime after 1:00 am on Saturday morning, after consuming a case of Old Milwaukee with two fellow Minutemen, Flagler shot and killed a being that definitely was not Mexican or even human for that matter. What Flagler shot and killed with his assault rifle was a humanoid with greenish white skin, a heart-shaped head and large oval eyes that stood almost seven feet tall.
"I thought he was coming over here to steal American jobs," said an obviously inebriated Flagler. "I mean it was dark out and all and he was coming across the border and the last thing we need is more Meskins coming over here and gettin' free health care and free education and shit like that. Though I can see now that definitely ain't a Meskin."
Dr. Walter Keller of the Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) said Flagler's drunken antics destroyed the greatest scientific find possibly in human history and added that Flagler's actions will have definitely destroyed any kind of future opportunities for human/extraterrestrial relations.
Keller finished by saying: "Flagler better hope that those aliens aren't the vindictive kind."
