Written by Chuck Terzella

Saturday, 9 July 2005

image for What, Me Worry?
Preseident Bush Speaks to Reporters

A new Pew Research poll shows that nearly 50% of Germans, 57% of Frenchmen and nearly a third of British citizens believe that the United States is over-reacting to the threat of Terrorism. President George W. Bush, wearing a flack jacket, helmet, gas mask and surrounded by four bomb sniffing dogs, sixteen Army Rangers and waving a M16 Carbine appeared yesterday with Netherlands Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende to deny the charge.

" No way am I over-reacting," a visibly nervous Mr. Bush said, "Those terrorist creeps are everywhere and I...what was that? Are we safe? Protect me! Oh, it's just Dick Cheney. Check him for bombs anyway. As I was saying, you never know where those crazy extremists may strike next. Who is that over there? Does he have a bomb? Shoot him! Oh, it's Karl Rove. Don't kill him but if he moves wing him in the shoulder. Getting back to your question, I'm making the world safer for God fearing Americans and if a couple of Spaniards or British guys or whoever have to get blown up in the process...what was that? Shoot that cameraman! He looks like an Arab. You can't be too careful."

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " Maybe we over reacted just a tad. Last week the President nearly killed Laura with a karate chop and knee kick when she snuck up behind him to give him a kiss on the neck. It really put a damper on noogie night, I can tell you."

Continuing to speak on the condition of even more anonymity, Waterhouse continued, " Look, the bottom line is that the President has said you're either for us or you're with the Terrorists. Well, with Spain pulling out it's looking like a whole lot less people are actually for us than ever, which means that they must be for the Terrorists, so you Spanish wimps had better just watch it. Ten bombs in Madrid are the least of your worries."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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