Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Laura Bush's surgeon confirmed what millions of Americans have always suspected, that living with George W Bush 'is a pain in the neck'.
"It's gotten so bad that surgery was the only other option - apart from divorce, that is", DC medical sources said today.
A two and a half hour operation at the George Washington University Hospital was conducted under general anaesthetic and has been hailed a success.
The procedure implanted a titanium protective layer near the First Lady's jugular vein ensuring that any sleepwalker's attempts to vampirise her blood can be easily repelled without resorting to summoning the White House protection cops.
Mrs Bush also underwent a posterior cervical foraminotomy whereby a trapped nerve in the vaginal area was released from geo-pathetic stress "endured in the course of her duties as First Lady of the United States".
"Some say she deserves a medal for courage under fire," an AC/DC source said today.
