NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - A form of technology has allowed scientists to ascertain the level of human intelligence from visual photographic means. The result show, without a doubt, that many Americans are as thick as pig-shit.
The Swiss organisation Cerebellar Usage Monitoring (CUM) , uses satellites to measure levels of brain output through plasmic energy radiational neurotransmitter output measuring signal monitoring techniques to create staining on x-ray films.
"The CUM stains show us that in the US, for example", explained Professor Nick Ferrari, "there is little going on in the deep south and most activity in the east and north-east of the nation."
"When we zoomed in on the White House, it was as black as a black man wearing black clothes in a dark room with no lights or windows.", added the scientist in charge of research.
It is thought that the information provided by the study will be used to selectively 'cull' areas of the world where people are just too stupid to justify their draining of natural resources.
