Fat Man Crosses Road

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 13 August 2007

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This is the man police aren't looking for

There was so little news to report over the weekend, that many news stations were forced to report the story of a fat man who simply crossed the road in New Jersey.

The man, aged around 42, and weighing in the region of 390 pounds, ambled across the busy junction of North 43rd Street and 16th Avenue, just before five o'clock yesterday evening.

The balding man, wearing a brown shirt and dark trousers, was seen pulling an 'old-bag-style shopping trolley' and carrying a plastic bag which was probably packed with drugs.

It's not known why the man bothered to saunter across the street as he did, and police say that, as he wasn't committing any sort of crime, they won't be launching an investigation.

Officer Albert Dripping of the NYPD said:

"We think this individual may have been taking a stroll. It's nothing more sinister than that. We won't be taking any further action."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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