Manchester United Try To Sign New Improved 4-Year-Old Beckham

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 13 August 2007

image for Manchester United Try To Sign New Improved 4-Year-Old Beckham
Please Sir, can I go to the toilet?

After a report on The Spoof over the weekend that David Beckham has, through jet lag, been regressed to the state of a 4-year-old, it has now emerged that Manchester United have approached LA Galaxy with a view to signing the player.

Only two weeks ago, United signed a 9-year-old, Rhain Davis, and have several more 'juveniles' in their sights, including Beckham's sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Beckham Snr has, in the past, acted much like a 4-year-old, but is now, according to doctors, "clinically childish" as well as "clinically braindead". Interestingly, Beckham's wife, Spice Girl Posh Spice, has recently been likened to an 8-year-old.

LA Galaxy medical staff have disputed the news, and say that, even if it's true, it wouldn't have affected the team's decision to buy him, as Beckham was signed "merely as a publicity stunt".

Manchester United chief scout Alan Cradlesnatcher said:

"We are monitoring the situation and keeping an eye on the kids. The club would love to have David back here as that would prevent Chelsea signing him."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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