Drunken Tennessee pastor offers cops blow job to escape indecency rap

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

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Cops were unamused by the offer of oral sex from Pastor Tester

Washington County, Tennessee - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A drunken fundamentalist pastor who spreads the word on evangelical Christian radio was arrested today after tempting highway partol officers with an offer of oral sex.

"I feel the spirit of the Lord will come all over me!"
Thomas Dale Tester ejaculated as Johnson City police pulled him up in his blue Toyota Camry after being called to a site in South Belmont Street following complaints about a man indecently exposing himself to children.

Tester, a Jesus shock-jock on WZAP-AM 690 and full-time pastor at the Gospel Baptist Church on Reedy Creek Road, was allegedly dressed in a fetching skirt and matching top according to police reports.

A strong smell of alcohol led officers to believe he had been drinking and a half empty vodka bottle on the passenger seat merely confirmed their worst suspicions.

Tester then allegedly got out of his vehicle and decided to christen the Belmont Car Wash where he had been apprehended.

"I hereby baptise thee in the name of the Holy Spirit!" he then sang as stunned officeres watched him urinate all over a wash bay in full view of some young children.

After claiming his name was Mr E Gantry, Tester was led away handcuffed singing "Giss us a kiss Kathleen".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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