Pentagon, Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Pentagon officials have decided that the USA is not to be outdone by the Brits' £1.2 billion arms dealing slush fund that lined the pockets of weasely-mouthed former Saudi ambassador to the US Prince Bandar.
In the highly competitive world of global arms dealing backhanders Bandar has been the ultimate Mr Baksheesh.
He easily outranks global players such as Syrian-born Wafic Said, Scientology's top cover man Tom Cruise, Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich and Lord Levy's Mossad-employed son Daniel, whose wedding takes place in London this weekend.
Bandar is now set to expand his offshore bank accounts with rake-offs in the next round of Saudi arms dealing.
This weekend reports confirm thst the US is ready to flog Saudi Arabia $50 billion of kit overthe next ten years, for which Bandar's cut will be the usual 10%.
The deal includes missile guidance systems, upgraded fighter jets, naval ships, nuclear-powered submarines and associated personnel training.
The proposal being spun as part of the US's Global Piss Process strategy to keep the neighboring Iranians on their toes.
And in a bid to ensure that the Israelis do not get too freaked out by such an arms build up almost on their doorstep the US will also kit out strategic Red Sea military installations.
That arm of the deal is being brokered by Levy's son whose wedding costs are said to be a huge drain on his investment portfolio.
And the lynchpin in all these negotiations? Step forward ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair, the so-called "Quartet" consultant brokering peace and goodwill in the Middle East.
For all those who have been wondering exactly who is paying him to strut around the Middle East the mystery is over.
Blair's consultancy fees will are a straight cut from Bandar's 10% and will be guaranteed payable for the duration of the gagging order on the UK's Serious Fraud Office which was ordered by George Bush last year to drop its investigations into the BAE slush fund that doshed up Bandar.
Lord Levy is cock-a-hoop.
