Florida - (Ass Mess): Love-tug NASA astronut Captain Lisa Nowak has vehemently denied being a "nappy ho" in court today despite police claims that she drove 1000 miles to accost her rival dressed only in a NASA-issue diaper.
"This is a vile fabrication to smear me with kinky-sex slurs," Nowak insisted as she answered charges of attempted kidnapping, assault and burglary involving Captain Colleen Shipman.
"I have become the butt of hideous media lampooning because of this filthy lie by the Florida police department," Nowak sobbed in court.
"Hardly a day goes by when some preposterous and scandalous story appears on the internet about me, not to mention all the dumbass pictures posted of me in a totally fatuous goddamn diaper."
Nowak's lawyer, Donald Lykkebak, told the press later that the diaper smear may be a deliberate attempt to humiliate her in public by a vengeful Colleen Shipman who has gone on the record that her name "has been smeared in mud" ever since the love triangle story broke in February.
Meanwhile the object of the women's infatuations, Commander Bill Oefelein has gone into hiding after getting the sack from NASA for his part in the diaper shenanigans.
The case continues.
