Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Curse of Lisa Nowak blamed as space station glitch puzzles the experts
Nowak may have sabotaged the on-board computers in an act of revenge at being fired by NASA

Outer Space - (Ass Mess): Jilted former NASA Captain Lisa Nowak may have sabotaged the International Space Station's computer banks as all six main control computers failed today.

NASA officials were quick to play-down rumors that she may have jinxed the multi-million dollar electronic equipment by stuffing one of her legendary dodgy diapers down the back of the control circuits.

But officials have admitted that they remain baffled about the failure.

The glitch is the ISS's most serious computer failure since 2001 when the control computers on the US side of the station experienced a "cascade collapse" after Nowak and her erstwhile lover Commander Bill Oelfelien reportedly made love for six and a half hours on top of the master server routing system.

A NASA spokesman commented whistfully on that incident today: "That event nearly lobotomized the entire station."

The a subsequent computer failure on the day the station's first component was launched in 1998, nearly caused the module to crash and was later identified as resulting directly from some rough foreplay that Nowak and Oelfelien had got up to in the station's switching room.

Both Nowak and her ex lover have now left NASA and this week's dramatic onboard events cannot be attributed to their passion.

But investigators are now focusing their porbe on whether Nowak may have somehow scrambled the on-board wiring in a revenge move after beeing dumped by her lover and fired by NASA.

@We're working in it," a desperate NASA source said today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: lisa nowak




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