Avvo Lawyer Rating Website Sued - By Lawyers!

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

image for Avvo Lawyer Rating Website Sued - By Lawyers!
Is this guy really a lawyer?

The legal community has twisted itself into some funky knots in the new lawsuit against Avvo. Avvo is a website that rates lawyers based on various factors including their experience, disciplinary history, sexual preferences and consumer input.

It turns out that some lawyers actually don't like being rated. One of those lawyers is Randy King, the "King of DUI" (supposedly for his skill as a DUI lawyer rather than for any past history of DUI convictions). Mr. King was rated with a 3.5 out of 10, apparently because his license was suspended in 1998 and because he actually charges clients money for his services - the greedy bastard.

Well, King thinks he's better than a 3.5. "I should have gotten at least a 5," King insisted when meeting with reporters over drinks at his favorite tavern.

So King set out to find himself a good lawyer. Using Avvo, he found Johnnie Cochrane, who received an unusually high rating of 11.3. Avvo's spokesman indicated that Cochrane received some bonus points for maintaining such a strong reputation after death. Unfortunately, Cochrane was unavailable so King had to settle for a relatively unknown class action lawyer named Upyer Ahss, who has an Avvo rating of 7.8.

After meeting with Ahss, King decided to go ahead with his suit. His complaint has two main themes - first that the 3.5 rating is unfair to him and damages his reputation with prospective clients; and second, that the rating system is unreliable as Ahss is not a very good lawyer and King is damaged by the misleading information that was supposed to help him select an attorney.

Ahss insisted that both claims are valid, and that he is particularly optimistic about King's consumer-oriented claim.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more