Written by Neilos

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

image for Man Utd Signing In Feather Duster Riddle
Jack manages to keep a straight face long enough to pose

New Manchester United signing Robbie Savage has been accused of tickling a lapdancer with a feather duster in a late-night 'attack'.

The player, a free transfer from Blackburn, was on a bonding night out with new team mates including Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs, when they decided to take in Ladies' Night at the local Spearmint Rhino.

Upon arrival, the group made a bee-line for the VIP area and requested a dance from local lad Jack Strap. The dancer claims it went a bit funny soon after.

"I was dancing away, giving the lads a good show," Jack revealed, still chuckling slightly from the duster incident. "But they were missing the female dancers, I think. Robbie got the duster out, and soon after I collapsed on the floor laughing. A few of my colleagues came over to see, and he got them too. He seems a lot less tough off the pitch."

Through a statement from the club, midfielder Savage, 32, claims he was an innocent party in the incident, which left one man in fits of laughter and a further two in Ann Summers, looking for replacement monkey thongs.

"Robbie Savage denies any involvement in the so-called 'Dustergate' incident at Spearmint Rhino," a club spokesman said. "The duster is believed to have acted of it's own accord, and we will stand 100% behind our player throughout the investigation."

Savage is expected to replace Paul Scholes in the heart of the United midfield from the start of next season.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
73 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more