Salvation Army No Longer Accepting Donations with NYPD/FDNY Logos

Written by Salsero Blanco

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Salvation Army No Longer Accepting Donations with NYPD/FDNY Logos
Much like Ms. Lewinsky, NYPD garb is yesterday's news

Due to a deluge of unwanted hats and t-shirts with the NYPD and FDNY markings, the Salvation Army said they are no longer accepting these items at their nationwide collection centers.

Representatives say the centers need to free up space for household essentials and can no longer spare the room for hats and t-shirts that even their neediest customers won't take off their hands.

"It's just not cool anymore." said Salvation Army volunteer, Jerry Michaelotti, 54. "People don't want to wear anything that might align them with the current administration."

Officials say it's a simple matter of supply and demand. Only people with real ties to "New York's Finest" still want to keep the items and that group of people is a lot smaller than what most people were lead to believe a few years ago.

"These items flooded the market in a frenzy of blind holier-than-thou patriotism." said Michaelotti. "Now, it's like trying to give away a Debbie Gibson lunchbox."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more