Leaked State Department memo warns of Cuba instability after Castro's death

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Sunday, 10 June 2007

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State Department plans to attend to Wake after Fidel Castro's death

Washington, D.C. - The State Department believes that immediately following, Fidel Castro, the Caribbean island dictator's passing, a title wave of millions of Cuban immigrants wanting to improve their lot in life will leave the island all at once, headed for Miami, Florida; or worst yet, flooding the other shores of Latin American counties.

"It just not fair," said a spokesperson for the United States appointed member to the International Monetary Fund. "If they get out, it may undue the necessity of the region having to take out loans with the IMF for years."

It is anticipated the sudden and massive modern exodus will have a deep lasting economic impact across all employment sectors of the region, ranging from low paying day labor jobs cornered by illegal Mexican immigrants cartel to the highly trained specialized professions, commanding high paying salaries currently monopolized by Indians, Asians and British actors.

Plans are in place to keep the island under quarantine with a naval blockade, similar to that of President John F. Kennedy of the island in 1963, a Mexican standoff which almost engulfed the world in thermonuclear war; or for those too young to remember, the Trade Federation blockade of the planet of Naboo.

"Except this time instead of keeping missiles out, the embargo will be keeping something dangerous in," said a White House spokesperson, "Highly trained specialized professionals."

"Also, it will give the White House time to makeup an excuse to justify the issuing of special Visas to allow their admittance," a spokesperson from the liberal leaning Brookings Institute. "Without making our double standard immigration policy looking too hypocritical to the other Caribbean nations, like Mexico, Haiti or the Dominican Republic, except for their baseball players, of course."

"Preventing an immediate brain drain of the small influential Caribbean island's intellectuals, and not more importantly a brainpower boost to the rest of Latin America badly stands to benefit from should we fail, is the White House's main concern," said a White House spokesperson. "Why does everybody seem to have a problem with that now days? Don't you trust us any more?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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