Paris Hilton Diagnosed As "Insane"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 9 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton Diagnosed As "Insane"
Miss Hilton was given a straightjacket like the one seen here

Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton was back behind bars last night after one of the most amazing turnarounds in American legal history.

Released just three days into her 45-day sentence on Thursday, she was recalled back to Court by a sane judge yesterday, and told that she must serve the rest of the term in a "specialist hospital jail" for those who have been diagnosed as "unstable".

Miss Hilton arrived at the Los Angeles courtroom in reinforced titanium handcuffs, sporting a pink Versace dress and matching handbag and electronic tag. She cried throughout the entire hearing, wailing:

"I'm not right!"

LA County sheriff Lee 'Chew' Baca concurred, and decreed that she should spend the remainder of her sentence at the Twin Towers Nuthouse in LA, a place normally reserved for prisoners who have "gone over the edge".

Sheriff Baca said:

"She's a nut, and nuts go to the nuthouse!"

Hilton was taken away for a fitting for her straightjacket, which will be in a choice of three colours, white, pink or lemon.

Her mother, who was also in the courtroom, screamed at the judge:

"My daughter is innocent etc!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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