Backwater, TN - Aliens from the planet ~Frdcfvbflbmt! today admitted a massive mistake when they accidentally inserted a standard-issue redneck anal probe into a host's mouth.
"I'm so embarrassed," chortled Snagzsanb, spokesbeing for the aliens. "In 75 years of successful probe placement in humans, this has never before happened."
The shiny metallic probe, YOKEL1000xb, is the latest in alien technology and provides superior intergalactic transmission capabilities over earlier models. Rectum acoustical cancelling provides optimum clarity on long-distance transmissions, but is not tested against someone's soft palate.
The aliens hope to avoid a lawsuit stemming from this incident. They are said to be offering the victim a year's supply of Skoal Bandits and a bottle of Wild Turkey in exchange for his not suing them. The aliens blamed "outsourcing" for the mistake.