President Bush paid a Memorial Day visit to Arlington National Cemetery and stood by the tombs of the Unknown Soldiers from America's wars. After walking around the hallowed ground in silence for a few minutes in calm reflection, the President offered the following statement to reporters.
"Where we supposed to play touch football at? Barbara said we were coming to a park, but this one's got them giant, big, white rocks standing straight up all over the place. You'd have to dodge around them. It's worse than playin' around the cars in the street!"
"I guess we could set up the charcoal grill over by them big tall lookin' things to cook up the burgers and the dogs, and some of them monument things will work as tables."
"Who planned this park anyway? No picnic tables, no baseball field, nowhere to play football, no porta-potties, none of them firepits, no big barrel metal trashcans with flys buzzing around them,....this park sucks!"
When told that the cemetery was built on land that used to be owned by former Confederate General Robert E. Lee, the president was amazed. "You mean they let the General Lee own this place? I didn't know cars could own stuff! Are there any other places around here owned by other folks from the Dukes of Hazzard? Does the Batmobile or the Pink Panther car own stuff too?"
Overall, the President was not impressed by his experience at Arlington. "For the 4th of July, we'll do our BBQ at the Lincoln Memorial again because the wading pool is close and we can throw rocks and the ducks and we got somewhere to run inside if it rains and I like my picture getting taken sitting in the big guy's lap!"