New Mexico - (Ass Mess): Seismologists have warned that landing strip markings etched into the New Mexico desert near the Scientologists' nuclear bunker housing L Ron Hubard's holy of holies correspond to newly discovered geophysical fault lines linked to one of the dodgiest tectonic plates ever detected in the USA.
"We hear rumbles from within the deep," said a spokesman for the US Seismology Directorate.
The markings have long been suspected as being part of a coded message for the cult's extraterrestrial deity Xenu to use for his space elevator-enabled visits to earthly seedlings.
And the nearby bunker dug out of a rugged mountainside could be a holding bay for housing the retro-engineered craft that Tom Cruise managed to recover from its desert hideaway which is being prepared for imminent close encounters.
The cult has refused filming access to the media despite public interest in the satellite-enhanced imagery published today clearly showing the desert etchings.
Decoding the landing strip markings may take several years as specialists from the Da Vinci Code school of cryptology begin the mammoth task of unravelling the symbol, said to resemble a DNA jean code.
