Cruise to turn lavish LA $43m house into temple ahead of 2012 presidential bid

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

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Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Tom Cruise is to demolish his brand new $43 million seven bedroomed LA townhouse and build a shrine to Xenhu in his bid to relaunch himself as Scientology's messiah incarnate ahead of a proposed 2012 White House presidential bid.

Bouyed by minority religions' success in the Senate Cruise is confident his plans will rocket once the new temple is up and running.

The religion's wannabe waiting list of rich, successful non-oil money affluenzi is now so enormous that Cruise reckons celebs will soon overtake hydro-carbons industry as the top bankrollers of presidential campaigning.

The 1937 1,000-sq-meter Beverly Hills mansion will be completely flattened and a massive mausoleum-style temple erected with a lavish penthouse apartment that Cruise, wife Katie and baby Suri will live.

An urban country club club-house-style interior will offer spiritual as well as recreational and leisure activities to members who will pay hotel rates for the priviledge of using the facilities.

Income projections seen for the project estimate an initial annual turnover in excess of $25 million which will be ploughed into the actor's personal campaign to reinvent himself as the country's first Scientology president, on an independent ticket.

A planning application is to be lodged this week and architects' schedules romise a March 2008 completion date including interior design, landscaping and security arrangements.

The couple's new neighbors in the ropad have been announced this week as footballer David Beckham and his wannabe-somebody stick insect wife Victoria.

Baby Suri is nearly 1.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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