Hello, and welcome to the BBC News at noon, I’m Clive Endive and these are your top stori – what? What was that? Did you see that? A man just fell past the window – and he looked familiar! Just like, just like … That’s right, cats and kiddies, Tom…
In a heated debate over the existence of God, free will, and fundamental life spirit, philosophy professor and outspoken atheist, Dr. Donald Cartwright, brought the discussion to a screeching halt by asking whether his debate opponent, Church of Scie...
Scamway and Scamatologists announced today that their two organizations would be merging in a marriage made in Cult Heaven. "This will provide a lot of benefits for the people in both organizations. Scamatologists will now be able to sell detergen...
Sociologists who examine cult phenomena have noticed similarities between the techniques of the Trump administration, the Republican Party, and Fox News: 1. They all illogically follow a leader who tells obvious falsehoods and is a blatant narcissicist and misogynist. 2. They both push books, supposedly instructive, that are loaded with bullshit. 3. The Trump administration and the "Chur...
Clearly Mental, FL As they have been promising and collecting "donations" for during the last three years, the Church of Scamatology promised they would be on the air with their new TV network "real soon." (If the past is any indication, could be any...
"King of Queens" star Leah Remini has fully recanted all the negative statements she recently made on A&E's "Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath", a program that criticized the religion for being devious, highly secretive and violent towar...
Hollyweed, CA Emmy winner Elizabeth Floss, who is a member of the Cherch of Scamatology, revealed that it is a requirement that all True Believers of the Xenu Story must use at, the minimun, at least one curse word per fifty extemporaneous words spok...
Podunk, ND Trump gave a speech today about how he had seen an HBO special in his hotel room about how people were being abused by Science. "On the HBO program I saw how Science had kidnapped people, and how they would make people disconnect from t...
Nukuʻalofa, Tonga According to the Tonga Police, in the last Third World outpost of the Cult of Scamatology, the cult has been ordered to leave the island immediately, and to release all the children they've managed to secrete away from the country. The cult has been unable to recruit anywhere in the world due to the unpopularity of their cult, the bad publicity given it by recent books, docume...
ClearlyCriminal, FL Scamatology has always used their celebrity members to promote the church. However, as they lose regular members (four times as many Britons claim they are Jedi Warriors, as opposed to Scamatology), so too are many of their celebr...
Clearlyclinical, FL North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un and Scamatology dictator David Makemerich (through a Scamatology spokeperson Karing Sow) made a joint announcement today when they confirmed the rumors that Scamatology will merge with North Korea...
Clearlydelusional, FL In startling movie news, Scamatology Head Cheese has purchased a large movie studio in the El Lay area to twin up with the other movie studio he bought a few years ago. The first movie announced by the new studio will be a b...
CLEARWATER, FL. The leader, or "pope" of $camatology has announced that a giant "Ideal Org," a giant church for the Church of $camatology, has been built by the inhabitants of one of the North Korean labor camps in North Korea's capital city, Pyongya...
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - Scientologist and Fox News "hostess with the mostest," Greta Van Susteren cleared the air recently by challenging her male colleagues' belief in the natural superiority of men over women. "Have these idiots lost their minds?...
Hollywood, CA. John Travolta was promised at least $8 million dollars from the Kickstarter website, organized by John Travolta's fans to NOT make Battlefield Earth II as originally threatened. One million of the dollars came from the first movi...
New York, NY Donald Trump has announced that he has become a devotee of Scientology, auditing with his solid gold e-meter and expelling body thetans from his hair by the millions. "I absolutely love the Church of Scientology, what with all the c...
Los Angeles, CAJustin Bieber announced today that he took a personality test from some people he saw on Wilshire Blvd. and now he is joining the Church of Scientology. He will bring his many fans, dubbed "Beliebers," with him into the cult. "I kno...
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