Oh, Kay, David
Thursday, 29 January 2004
Weapons Inspector David Kay has finally admitted what the rest of us have known all along...namely that Saddam Hussein really had no weapons of mass destruction. However, Mr. Kay has offered a convincing explanation as to how he could be so stupid.
"I was a troubled child," Mr. Kay said, " From the time I was a little boy all the other children mocked me, calling me names and hitting me during recess. In the lunchroom they stole my peas and carrots. Even my teachers called me nasty names like David or worse, Kay. Kay is a girls name for gods sakes. I finally thought I could do something right for a change, something that would make people like me. Convincing the world to bomb the crap out of Iraq seemed like the way to do it."
President George W. Bush has publicly said that he has forgiven Mr. Kay. " That's the whole point of being a compassionate conservative. You're compassionate towards conservatives. So what if more than five hundred of our troops have been killed in Iraq so far and no more than ten thousand or so Iraqi's for no good reason. Forgive and forget, that's my motto. You gotta get beyond the blame game. Dave's a good guy even if he does have a girls last name. Of course, if this somehow comes back to me, sissy boys gonna get a visit from Homeland Security."