Kay Calls it Quits

Funny story written by Chuck Terzella

Friday, 19 December 2003

The head of the Bush Administration's Weapons of Mass Destruction team ( the team in charge of finding them, not making them) is said to be ready to resign. No actual weapons or even evidence of any weapons have been found in almost nine months of searching at a cost of $600,000,000.00 and David Kay, the man who went before the Senate earlier this year and swore that " you can't walk through Baghdad without tripping over a nuke", is ready to call it quits.

While Mr. Kay has not granted any requests for interviews, sources close to him gave several reasons for both the insistence that such weapons existed and the reason for calling off the search now.

"Dave was in a coffee shop in Memphis, Tennessee last year and he overheard some guy saying that Saddam Hussein probably had chemical and biological weapons stored someplace in Iraq. He brought this information to the President, who used it as a justification for war. The guy who said it in the first place was actually promoted to the Joint Chiefs of Staff for awhile, until it was learned that he was wanted for robbing a gas station in Mississippi. By that time it was too late since Bush had already started to bomb Baghdad. Although the information was discredited, David never stopped believing it."

Mr. Kay was overheard saying, " So we didn't find any weapons, I did finally find that set of car keys I lost back in 1996 when I was here the last time, so all in all, the war was worth it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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