Humpback whales Escorted Back to Pre-designated Protest Zone - The Pacific Ocean: Future Dead Zone?

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

image for Humpback whales Escorted Back to Pre-designated Protest Zone - The Pacific Ocean: Future Dead Zone?
Pre-designated Protest Zone; Future Dead Zone?

Sacramento, California - Although still at a loss for an explanation as to the reason why the two Humpback whales, a mother and her calf, took a wrong turn up the Sacramento river in California, marine biologists are nevertheless relieved to discover the wayward whales have finally turned back down the river and are currently headed right on course back out to the Pacific Ocean.

In a statement released by Green Peace, however, they claim the reason why the whales swam up the river was to protest the worsening conditions of the greenhouse effect, global warming and increased dead zones [areas devoid of all marine and plant life due to depleted oxygen levels] in the Pacific Ocean.

"The humpback whales are not lost. They never were," said Marine biologists and Green Peace activist, Wile Barter. "They are marine life diplomats sent to encourage the governor of California to continue putting pressure on industrial polluters to cut their toxic emissions and share their song of protest they have been singing out to mankind for past two hundred years, but apparently everybody has ignored."

Upon hearing the whales' plans to swim up to the state's Capital, lobbyists representing the top 500 industrial polluters organized a team of marine biologists and barrage of media convincing them, and the public, the whales needed rescuing before the start of the busy up coming Memorial Day holiday river watercraft traffic.

When that did not work, and the whales continued their odyssey making as far as 77 miles inland, an unidentified group of men dressed as Japanese marine research biologists appeared on the scene. Shortly thereafter the whales turned back.

"They're being escorted to the pre-designated protest zone - the Pacific Ocean. There, once again, they will continue to sing out their Cassandra song of warning and no one will hear them; 'till it 'comes a dead zone," said Prof. Barter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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