Oral sex more dangerous than cigars Lewinsky was told

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Friday, 11 May 2007


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Lewinsky wore a patch to get over withdrawal symptoms

California - (Ass Mess): Former Clinton intern Monica Lewinsky has spoken today about the first time she was told that oral sex could be more dangerous than cigars.

"Sure they told me about the risks. But getting pregnant via the long route seemed only a remote possibility.

"I always knew I might get a sore throat or gum disease. But it sure felt worth it at the time."

Her statement today comes as new academic research is published saying promiscuous oral sex is riskier than feigning it with a large fat cigar.

"And once you're hooked on nicotine, well that's it, isn't it?" says a report into the links between tobacco addiction and oral sex.

Monica now counsels against oral sex and smoking after having had her teeth surgically whitened following a disctinct deterioration in dental enamel during those heady Clinton years.

"That caper has cost me over $20,000 in laser treatment. My gums are still recovering and might need a transplant."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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