White House - (Ass Mess): Capitol Hill is abuzz with rumors that Queen Elizabeth is to bestow the UK's highest gallantry medal on President Bush and make him a Knight of the Order of the Garter for services to the cash-for-honors industry.
Palace courtiers have complained that ever since his UK state visit Bush has been whining and whinging that the prestigeousm medal would look 'kinda cute' on his chest when he has his commemorative gold eagles struck on leaving office in 2008.
Heraldic experts in the UK have pointed out that, apart from burdening the UK Exchequer with a £10 billion Iraq war bill, hundreds of battlefield fatalities and casualties and a corruption inquiry into the flogging of peerages to the IRA, Bush has done sod-all to merit inclusion in the Order's fabled ranks.
"We did offer a Companion of Dishonor, 3rd class - which the President rejected," a Palace official said today.
"So we upped it to a Queen's Police Medal for Pervertsing the Course of Justice. But this too was turned down despite the last US recipient of this award being Republican Predsident Richard Nixon."
A private medal-pinning ceremony is expected in the UK embassy tomorrow and Bush may wear his new beribboned gong to the embassy dinner which Old Fatty Mountbatten will host tomorrow night.