George Bush Vetoes War Bill Saying Exxon Mobil's Profits Are Not Yet High Enough

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

image for George Bush Vetoes War Bill Saying Exxon Mobil's Profits Are Not Yet High Enough
Bush appeals for for more oil profits

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush vetoed the war spending bill requiring US troop withdrawal from Iraq on Tuesday, saying "The job isn't finished...Exxon Mobil's profits have got to go a lot higher before we leave!"

Meanwhile, senior Republicans started moving away from Bush's hard line, some suggesting that the monkey in the White House has gone too far this time.

Is a brief address to the nation, Bush told the American people, "Setting a deadline for withdrawal will mean that profits are simply not high enough for my oil buddies, and that's unacceptable."

Bush had just vetoed the $124.2 billion bill that would have provided about $100 billion to pay for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan through the end of the federal fiscal year September 30. The legislation also would have set a goal of withdrawing almost all US forces from Iraq by March 2008 as wanted by the American people, and all soldiers and generals. Democrats were not happy with the veto.

"That idiot wants a blank check and Congress is not going to give it to him," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-San Francisco told reporters minutes after the veto.

"We had hoped the president would have obeyed the bipartisan majority of both houses supported by the overwhelming majority of the American people, but no, the monkey wants more oil for blood money," she added.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., vowed to press on, stating, "If the bozo thinks that by vetoing this bill he will stop us from working to change the direction of the war in Iraq, he has his head up his ass."

Yet Republicans fear their party will pay a dire price in 2008 by continue backing the murderous and unpopular war, and privately urged the fool to compromise in his standoff with Democrats.

The second-ranking Senate Republican Trent Lott of Mississippi said he wants the spending bill benchmarked to getting more oil from Iraq for Exxon Mobil.

"Exxon Mobil needs that oil to screw the American people even more than it is already doing," he bluntly said. "And I want a fair take too."

The vetoed bill had also provided money for military and veterans' health care and funds for Hurricane Katrina recovery on the Gulf Coast, both desperate victims of the Bush Administration.

The Democratic leadership had sent the bill to the president on the fourth anniversary of the day he flew out to an aircraft carrier off San Diego and stood like a cretin before a huge banner saying "Mission Accomplished" and declared that major military operations in Iraq "were over."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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