Actor Fred Thompson To Join Presidential Race

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 12 March 2007

image for Actor Fred Thompson To Join Presidential Race
The 2008 campaign gets more clouded with the addition of another candidate

Actor Fred Dalton Thompson, more famous recently as a member of the United States Senate and the District Attorney on the Law and Order television series, announced today that he will join the race for the Republican Presidential Nomination in 2008. Thompson retired from the United States Senate in 2003 and returned to acting. He has grown tired of that, however, and wishes to return to the political forum.

Several politicians and celebrities have offered opinions on his candidacy:

Arnold, The Governator of California, said: "Yah, I tink he vould make a good prezzydent. He is a tough man und vould kick sum ass. Heez no girly man."

Hillary Clinton, former first lady, current New York senator, and potential opponent on the Democratic ticket, said: "He's running? I thought he was an actor again? Can he run? Can I accuse him of being a radical muslum extremist too?"

Al Gore, another former Senator from Tennessee (Thompson's home state) and former Vice President: "I invented the internet, you know. I was also on the Academy Awards this year. Florida still sucks."

Katie Couric, new anchor for CBS news: "Another one? There's another one running? I thought they were starting to drop out now! Am I going to have to interview him too? Can we tone down his bald head so my make-up or blouse don't reflect badly off of it? How am I supposed to look cute and perky on the news desk when I have to talk to old, bald men?"

Reverend Al Sharpton, famous Black rabble rouser who likes to offer stupid opinions on television and generall get's interviewed as the token black man: "Another whitey? What's this honkie running for? Whose gonna play his part if he has to leave the Law and Order show? Will they hire a black D.A. like Denzel for the role? Why can't them whities all drop out and let Obama win this? Can we see if his family ever owned slaves?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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