Two states, New York and Florida, have so far arrested Trump. And more states want in on it.
In the same manner that Republicans threw discord and doubt on the American electoral system, and faked votes, lost votes, made dead people vote, didn’t let African-Americans vote or spoiled their ballots (do you have to state your race on an American ballot? Is that where the racism starts?) or did whatever Rebs could think of to ensure their asshole won the vote, when he didn’t, before they all cried and cried and whined like little bitches about being yuge losers …
Ahem … other states want to arrest Trump too. So they’re manufacturing crimes that they say he committed, just like votes were manufactured.
California has said that Trump violated the Cali law “Thou Shalt Not Become Bigger than Your TV Show until a New Contract is Signed.”
In the land of Hollywood, this is a major crime. There’s another: “Thine wife shall get all her plastic surgery done by a California surgeon, and no other.” (Melania has been around the world. You can get fake tits almost anywhere these days.)
Vermont wants Trump for violating a law “Of good taste and wholesome bearing.” Not sure what that means, but if Samuel Alito can pick and choose whatever ancient law to ban abortion, then Vermont can keep a law on its books written by quakers.
Nevada said Trump was dealing a crooked deck and was using marked cards. This is where Las Vegas is located. Once owned by the mafia. There have been little changes since then … very little.
Pennsylvania still has a law against witchcraft and witches. They say Melania is a witch because she is a foreigner and has an accent. She may be deported and Donald fined a couple billionaire for allowing a foreigner into the secret rooms of the White House, where documents go to be shredded … or photographed by Chinese and Russian spies with tiny James Bond cameras.
The list grows as quickly as states can find other “crimes” for Donald. They want the publicity too! And Donald sells tickets! To what? To standing on the side of the road and cheering and waving the Bible – gotta get a good spot to hold up your baby, painted like Melania or Ivanka, in praise and emulation of your god passing by.
Feds, however, are slightly worried that if Donny is in a motorcade in, say, Kentucky or Oklahoma or one of those loser states, the MAGA morons may try to chase him down in their pick-up trucks and try to “liberate” him. If they overpower the Secret Service (or if the SS join the mob to fight for, not against, Trump), then the Big Orange may escape justice.
Plans are in the offing … and rednecks are scratching their sunburn-dry skin trying to figure out how to out-race a bulletproof limousine.
