Kyle Rittenhouse got away with killing people with his gun, but not necessarily his wallet. He’s being sued by one of the victims of his medical rampage and he’s scared.
Kyle doesn’t want to have to pay for the dead bodies he created. A civil suit is not a criminal suit. So many suits, but Kyle has lots of money to buy more.
Maybe he thinks one should be allowed to play and not pay. He says it could send a bad message that people who defend themselves won’t be able to do so if … if …. If they take all Kyle’s millions.
(Whoopie Goldberg paid him, and he hasn’t even had a chance to buy a Porsche jet ski and a trip to Saudi Arabia to see a live execution – it’s like a theme park for people who love to kill.)
Kyle has already started to cry. In fact, he’s in front of the mirror right now practicing. Many of his nose hairs have been plucked out, but not a lot of tears followed. He may try Visine for some fake tears. Or he may have his mom punch him in the stomach until he learns to cry like a REAL big baby, not a fake one.
Will Kyle be bringing an AR-15 into the court when his trial is on, just in case he has to defend his right to keep his wallet full of bloody cash?
No one will know for sure until Baby Kyle walks into the courtroom with snot leaking out of his nose and a piss stain on his suit pants and his mom holding his hand.
Maybe Donald will pay Kyle’s bills for him. Such a nice president, generous to one and all and porn stars too … as long as they take the hush money. Will Kyle pay hush money to settle out of court?
Here comes the next celebrity trial – just in time for sweeps week!
