Time To Update The U.S. Constitution

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 29 July 2022

image for Time To Update The U.S. Constitution
"Like men want to put women back in the kitchen and not competing for their jobs."

What? The Constitution is the backbone of the United States. Without the U.S. Constitution, the nation would be like the state of Mar-a-Lago or Russia!

Not so fast.

When the Constitution was written, Tesla cars didn’t exist. The best automatic rifles were muskets. The moon was something to gaze at and not upon which to walk. Cell phones were Paul Revere on horseback or drums and smoke. Air travel was by ballon. People like Judge Alito, however, existed. But women could not vote, own property, and, if raped, died trying to terminate the pregnancy.

Sometimes progress works.

When the Constitution was written, a wooden crutch was the solution if someone broke a leg, and life continued with that crutch and a limp. Today, broken bones are set with precision and skill. No limp and the life-long crutch isn't necessary.

Clocks always move forward.

Times have changed thanks to science and Google. But, unfortunately, the Constitution’s been dragged along both kicking and screaming.

However, overturning Roe v Wade was an example of one giant step backward to the days of muskets, flying balloons, Paul Revere and the crutch. The Supreme Court is chipping away at women’s rights. Doing away with birth control will be next.

A Republican candidate for public office in Ohio recently said, “Violent and abusive unhappy marriages should not end in divorce.”

Makes total loco sense.

The Ohio candidate was a guy.

He travels by balloon.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more