NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – It seems like every day, investigators from the state of New York uncover more and more dirt on Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump.
State agents now say that they have found records that show that Trump actually paid a photoshop expert to create nude photos of Nancy Pelosi, Ann Coulter, and Mary Trump.
It is no secret that the Trumptard hates all three with an unbounded passion.
He hates Nancy Pelosi because she is 4.5 times smarter than him. He hates Ann Coulter because she rejected him when he said he wanted to grab her taco (vagina), and he hates his niece Mary Trump because at family reunions she would always kick his ass at Pictionary, poker, dominoes, and tiddlywinks.
The state of New York is now getting ready to file treason charges against Old Baby Fingers because he actually contacted members of Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, Hezbollah, and Isis, in an effort to get them to send intimating emails, text messages, and instagrams to his former “fixer” Michael Cohen.
Meanwhile, info guru Andy Cohen says that he has heard from one of Trump’s family members that he now has second degree Peckerino Limpatosis. ■
