So Nancy Pelosi Didn’t Wear A Face Mask

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

image for So Nancy Pelosi Didn’t Wear A Face Mask
"It was really just off for about five seconds."

The sky fell! Boom. Every Republican is pointing fingers at Nancy Pelosi because she didn’t wear a face mask while having her hair shampooed.

Kind of impossible to wear a mask while your hair is being shampooed. Do you think she should have held a stick-fan in front of her face during the process? How many seconds did she go without a face mask? Maybe she held her breath?

Like guard dogs, Fox News broadcast film of the Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi walking from the shampoo sink to the hairstylist station. Wow! Get the sheriff! Lock her up! The Trump mantra for professional women.

Maybe she was holding her breath? Perhaps, she's a Navy Seal? Navy Seals can go for days without breathing.

Wait a second.

Did she shoot anyone in the back seven times? Did she truck cross country to Kenosha, guns firing, flags waving, wearing a MAGA hat, looking for a fight? Did she vandalize any city-owned property?

How many times did she attack peaceful demonstrators? Did she have mounted police and the military clear out a D.C. square so she could stand in front of a church, hold up a bible (upside-down), and say, “See me? Look over here. Yeah, cameras right here. Showtime!"

Did the Speaker of the House look the other way and make an absurd analogy about her golf game when asked about Russians paying bounties to kill American soldiers?

Did she ever say Nazis were good people? Is she trying to get reelected and stop a fair election by dismantling the United States Postal Service? Is she hiding her tax returns?

Did she yell BONE SPURS! before the birth of each of her five children?

So, get outta here. Nancy Pelosi made San Francisco her hometown, and Pelosi can even call it Frisco.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more