A Grand Rapids, Michigan Doctor, Darren Strong, who is a diligent and compassionate practitioner has convinced his local drug addicts to allow him to inject anabolic steroids into their methamphetamine. He injected the steroids with a sledge hammer.
People addicted to meth are normally under nourished, sickly looking and fans of the New York Knicks. Upon taking the meth with the steroids everything changed.
Local police officer Jerry Oversight talked about the effect the steroids had on a drug addict named Johnny Dolittle.
“It is really strange”, started Oversight. “We normally arrest Johnny once or twice a week when he is doing drugs in public. The arrest always goes fine without a hitch. Now a days he is too fast for us to get near him. He is like effing Usain Bolt. He is so fast that one time he ran right up to me and pulled the belt off of my pants and gave me a wedgie before running off”.
“Another drug attic, George Weed now looks like Atlas. When we tried to arrest him for breaking a fire hydrant, he picked up our police car and turned it upside down before dropping it on the asphalt. When we drew our guns, he promptly took them from us and bent both barrels into a u-shape before giving them back to us. He then went an pulled an apartment complex off of its foundation and ran away with it. We filed a police report for the stolen apartment complex so if anyone knows where it is please let us know”.
“It appears all the rest of the addicts have formed their own professional football league called the Homeys with the goal of its league champion to challenge the NFL’s super bowl winner to a contest called the Super Duper Bowl. Vegas has already given them 3-1 odds of winning it. They have exhumed the body of former Oakland Raiders owner, Al Davis, and have appointed him to be the commissioner of the new league.”
As of press time the NFL agreed to play the Homey’s champion as long as Al Davis keeps his mouth shut.