Lyndsey Lohan and Paris Hilton to star in Celebrity Rehab

Written by Breeze

Monday, 12 February 2007

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Paris - vomiting and diarrhoea

A new reality TV show, starring two of America's favourite fuck-ups, is set to air next week on the Fox network.

'Celebrity Rehab' is the brainchild of Hollywood producer, Chester D. Cashsnatcher and he promises that viewers will be hooked by the antics of air-head heiress, Paris Hilton, and wild child, Lyndsey Lohan.

"It's a fantastic show," said Cashsnatcher yesterday. "Full of comedy and pathos. In one hilarious scene we see Lyndsey having her stomach pumped after a three day binge and in another, we see debutante, Paris Hilton having her rectum searched for contraband"

The show follows celebrities, from they are signed into the Betty Ford clinic, and charts their daily battles with drug or booze addiction.

"Celebrities facing jail for drug and drink convictions find this an attractive alternative," said Beverly Hills sheriff, Lonnie Qumquat, "This way they can serve their time and still get media exposure."

Stars of 'Celebrity Rehab' include Robert Downey Jr who is a regular on the show and known for his popular catchphrase 'Give me the drugs, motherfucker'.

New York Times TV critic, Eugene Camp, told us, "Viewers can not only watch their favourite Hollywood stars going cold turkey, they can also get involved. They can cheer as Michael Douglas admits to sex addiction, cry as Whitney Houston scores some crack from the mexican orderly and laugh as Paris Hilton gets caught short with vomiting and diarrhoea."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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