London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Palace Bling

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 24 June 2019

image for London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Palace Bling
Specialist clients...related to chiseling gang

London, UK - A $50m stolen jewellery trail from a City of London heist is suspected of having been fenced into eager royal hands.

The 2015 Hatton Garden theft saw a gang of professional safecrackers tunnel their way into a jewellery shop’s underground strongroom and plunder the contents in an audacious grab.

Cops later said hundreds of safe deposit boxes were looted ‘on a commission basis’ with choice items selected for specialist clients - many of whom appear related to the chiseling gang.

Eventually half a dozen septuagenarian geezers with previous in armed robbery were caught and sentenced, their jail terms ranging from 15 to 25 years.

“Unfortunately some of the missing loot remains unaccounted for,” a Serious and Disorganised Crime Agency spokesperson told Spoof website reporters, as the search continued for the stolen bling.

The investigation apparently also probed a rash of royal engagement headlines featuring celebrity Z-Listers and other miscreant snouts-in-the-trough trash.

A spokesperson for Queen Elizardbirth at Buckingham Palace said ‘F**k orf you bastards’ when asked to comment on Prince Harry’s ring.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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