Hero Firefighters Save Man Trapped in Bedsheets

Written by Gerry Hatrick

Friday, 17 April 2020

image for Hero Firefighters Save Man Trapped in Bedsheets
WRECKED: The remains of the victim's building

FIREFIGHTERS in Boston were called to a house, last week, after a man became tangled in his bedsheets.

It was the latest in a series of incidents being linked to the phenomenon, quantum entanglement.

The 45-year-old resident was finally released after a two-hour operation involving a 44-foot hydraulic extension ladder, thermal imaging cameras, hose, breathing apparatus, Oxy-Acetylene cutting equipment and a paperclip.

Fire Chief, Bob ‘Hot Stuff’ Ramores, said: “It was a tricky one. The bedroom was on the second floor, so we extended the ladder to get to the window, and had to use sledgehammers to take away part of the wall to get all the equipment in.

"Wearing breathing apparatus, we then entered the building, and located the victim with thermal imaging cameras. We then cut away the bed, and gently unfolded the sheets, releasing the victim, who was taken to hospital.”

Chief Ramores faced criticism from residents, angry at the damage caused. They say his men could have just used the stairs.

“It’s disappointing to hear that,” he said. “My team are professionals. We train every day for different scenarios, and it’s damaging for morale if we don’t use all the gear.”

Meanwhile, the scientific community have turned their attention to the cause of this outbreak.

In the past three weeks, 83 incidents have been recorded of people who have become caught up in various objects. People have had to be released from cutlery, car steering wheels, a garbage sack, a copy of Time magazine, and a Snickers bar. Tragically, the phenomenon claimed its first victim, last week, when a cat did not survive being untangled from its elderly owner.

Dr Heinz Strangeglove, professor of physics at the Mix-Plonk Institute said: “Quantum entanglement occurs when electrons get intertwined, and we believe that the wide-range use of electronic devices is causing this phenomenon to spread to the large-scale world.”

“It seems people are safe with straight things. The problems start with curvy objects.”

BREAKING NEWS: Firefighters have been called to a house in Hidden Hills, California believed to be the residence of Kim Kardashian.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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