Los Angeles, CA. Andre Cooperson reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. Grocery store shelves that normally stock large quantities of toilet paper, have been bare in supermarkets here, since the scope of the Covid-19 coronavirus became apparent in Southern California earlier this month. No one here ever before hoarded bathroom tissue, as the more delicate among us refer to ass wipe, but it is the primary item missing in most markets.
Woof Blister, who covered the first Gulf War for Spoof in 1991 when the U.S. drove Iraqi invaders out of Kuwait, recalls that we all giggled when it was revealed that numerous Iraqi cars and trucks, disabled in an American air raid on the fleeing Iraqis, were full of toilet paper. What a silly thing to take as a refugee, we thought. But if you are preparing for an invasion or a dislocation in distribution caused by a deadly virus, any Southern Californian can today tell you those Iraqis made a wise choice of what to take with them.