Man Determined To Use His Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder To Become Isolated Historical Archivist Rather Than Bone Red-Haired, Middle-Aged Woman At Gas Station

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Sunday, 22 December 2019

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Iowa. Despite the fact that the middle-aged, divorced, red-haired woman behind the counter did display a slight interest in him while he was limping around at a local Casey's gas station with a massive hangover in a desperate search for coffee and tobacco, Roger Manning, 39, confirmed Thursday that he was (and still is) fully determined to use his God-Given (and 'ever-so cherished') gift of being extremely obsessive-compulsive in order to find a proper profession as a historical archivist rather than pull his pants down and let some stranger bounce up and down on his rock-hard, throbbing cock.

Because infatuation and drunkenness often accompany obsessive-compulsive disorder, Roger felt conflicted when the vivacious, highly playful, and extremely vigorous employee said "Hi" to him.

"I think you're a little bit of alright" was also a statement that didn't sit well with Roger, who confided with reporters that he wasn't going to let the "need-filled" woman pull her own bra off and smother his face with her luscious and gigantic boobs.

"I'm a pretty sensitive guy, and I just want to believe in what I'm doing with the 'one life' that I have on this Earth," Roger said, before quickly adding that he had absolutely no thoughts about this demonic and horny female sticking her tongue in his mouth before unzipping his khakis and 'reverse cowgirl style' fucking him in the middle of a random stairwell.

Extremely determined (and highly convinced) that his dysfunctional, perfectionist disorder will ultimately lead him to a peaceful and isolated life of recording historical truths by putting documents into filing cabinets, Roger solidly confirmed that it was not his destiny to put his hands on the voluptuous and curvaceous body of the enticing 'Jezebel' before giving her a good, solid pounding from behind.

Although she probably did want to wrap her legs underneath his, sit on top of him, and force him to blow his load all over her back, Roger calmly asserted that relationships (much like books and documents) are a fragile thing, and that he does not want her to dress up in chains before pushing his head into a wall while repeatedly screaming the words "Give It To Me!....Give It To Me, Again!...Harder This Time!...God-Damnit!"

Mr. Manning concluded the interview by stating that his ultimate journey toward the light and truth of protecting history will also not involve numerous, fake-breasted prostitutes in Las Vegas smacking him around and using straps of leather to beat him senseless until he starts crying.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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