Nashville Man Finds Fault and Realizes It's His

Written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 28 December 2019

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Nitpicking and rigidity had Logan Cantwell's name all over them.

Logan Cantwell of Nashville, Tennessee, had always been told that he was good at finding fault - but was disconcerted when one of the faults he found happened to belong to him.

"Usually they're other people's," said Cantwell. "And I always return them immediately to the person they belong to. I don't want to hang on to anything that's not mine."

This time, however, examining the fault he'd picked up on - judgmentalness - Cantwell could clearly identify it as his own. "It actually had my signature on it. It couldn't have been more blatant."

And, in fact, he went on to confess, Cantwell came across more than just one fault belonging to him. "There was also some nitpicking and rigidity. They had my name on them, too."

For now, Cantwell has his hands too full with his own faults to focus on finding any additional defects that others may have casually discarded, but he hastened to assure his improvement-minded friends that he'll return to his specialty fault-finding once he succeeds in fully perfecting himself. "It won't be much longer now - I'm almost there. Until then, folks'll just have to bumble along as best they can without me."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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