Feds Will Put Alcatraz Back Into Service in Anticipation of Upcoming Trump Campaign, Second Term

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Saturday, 16 November 2019

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Alcatraz Facility Needed to House Soaring Federal Prison Population

San Francisco - The U.S. Federal Bureau of Prisons announced yesterday that it will transfer management of the Alcatraz Prison from the National Park Service back to the Prison Bureau, as the facility will be needed in the next 5 years to detain the rapidly growing population of criminals resulting from a coming Trump for President campaign, and four additional years of a Trump Presidency.

Trump Senior Policy Advisor Stephen Miller was on hand for the announcement at Fisherman’s Wharf. “It looks like an excellent facility with a nice view of the City. Roger, Michael, Flynn and the rest of the boys will love it here”.

Eric Trump, originally scheduled to speak at the ceremony, was unable to attend as he was busy liquidating the Trump Charities in New York.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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