Two Percent Milk Slips to One Percent in Latest New Hampshire Poll

Written by G. Brookings

Wednesday, 13 November 2019

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Milk Matters

While Two percent milk has long been among the leaders in the Granite State when it comes to popularity among registered voters, a new poll by CNN News has shown a remarkably sudden and dramatic slippage, bringing the staple beverage into a dead heat with Democratic Presidential candidate Kamala Harris at around one percent each.

Asked by facetious reporters to comment on the decline of milk’s popularity, Harris reacted angrily, claiming that while she had slipped in the polls, her support was higher than two percent, and that her popularity was equal to or better than all low-fat milk products combined.

The New Hampshire Dairymen’s Association promptly issued a press release refuting Harris’ claim to be more popular than low-fat milk, noting that the state produced almost 282 million pounds of milk in 2018. “In November, the smart money will be on two percent milk to win.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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