Wisconsin. Whiskey bottles, chairs, and pool tables were just a few of the things that went flying through the air at the Blue Ocean Strip Club in Green County last Friday when Madison resident, Clive Johnston, 47, lost complete control of himself and went totally berserk.
After spending an anxiety-filled, lonely, and extremely depressing 'alcohol-free' weekend in the middle of July that involved eating green vegetables, drinking alkaline water, and listening to numerous online lectures about mental and spiritual balance, the divorced cognitive behavioral therapist made it through an entire week before he collapsed emotionally, got in his 1993 Buick Skylark, and decided to turn a harmless establishment full of nude women into a hurricane of unstoppable violence.
"GIVE ME A BEER RIGHT NOW!"…"FUCK!"...and..."YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! I'M BACK, BITCHES!" were just a few of the statements that highly traumatized survivors remember hearing before everything became a blur.
One voluptuous, blonde-haired dancing girl with perfectly-formed, wonderful, heart-warming, lovely, gigantic breasts (and tight, steamy, gorgeous thighs) recalled Mr. Johnston giving her a dollar while laughing in "a somewhat demonic and hideous fashion" before he ruthlessly impaled three people with a wooden shard that he ripped off of a nearby table.
Julie Ann Clemens, a brunette-haired, sleazy, 22-year-old University-of-Wisconsin Whitewater student studying Biology (who genuinely asked that her statements not be included for the simple reason that it would highly embarrass her and alert her conservative-minded parents as to how she is actually covering her tuition costs), told reporters that Mr. Johnston 'cried all over her boobs' as she was giving him a lap dance before he ferociously bellowed the words, "I WASTED 48 HOURS EATING GOD-DAMN BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER!"
A permanently injured bouncer also confirmed that the PhD holder was frothing at the mouth and that his eyes were glowing red before he entered the club.
Although he sincerely begged police to put him in a straight jacket and give him a bunch of pills (so that he could mentally zone out and drool all over himself instead of listening to the irreversible emotional problems that other people have), Clive was released from jail on the morning of Saturday, July 20th and then forced to go back to work the following Monday.
